Funny Computer Jokes

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one…

===============
Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can’t get my diskette out.
Tech support: Have you tried pushing the Button?
Customer: Yes, sure, it’s really stuck.
Tech support: That doesn’t sound good; I’ll make a note.
Customer: No, wait a minute… I hadn’t inserted it yet… it’s still on my desk… sorry….

===============

Tech support: Click on the ‘my computer’ icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?

===============

Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello… I can’t print.
Tech support: Would you click on “start” for me and…
Customer: Listen pal; don’t start getting technical on me! I’m not Bill Gates.

===============

Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can’t print. Every time I try, it says ‘Can’t find printer’. I’ve even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can’t find it…

===============

Customer: I have problems printing in red…
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah………………..thank you.

===============

Tech support: What’s on your monitor now, ma’am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

===============

Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it’s plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can’t get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back
Customer:! OK
Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there’s another one here. Ah…that one does work…

===============

Tech support: Your password is the small letter “a” as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters?

===============

Customer: can’t get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I’m sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.

===============

Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That’s not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry…Internet Explorer.

===============

Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.

===============

Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I’m writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter ‘a’ in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?

===============

A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: “No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.”

===============

And last but not least…

Tech support: “Okay Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter “P” to bring up the Program Manager”
Customer: I don’t have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: “P”…..on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I’M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!

taken from http://funnylah.com/2006/10/31/funny-computer-jokes-tech-support/

Read More

OpenGL and Java

While some programmers might still don't like this idea, developing a OpenGL-based 3D application using Java is possible. One option is to use the OpenGL implementation of Java3D, and the other is using an external library. JOGL (Java Binding for OpenGL) belongs to the latter category.

So, if you are a programmer who like to make a 3D application using OpenGL and also still want to take the advantage of Java's windowing system (AWT and Swing), JOGL is a great solution. JOGL allows access to most features available to C programming language programmers, obviously excluding GLUT. A quick example about how to work with JOGL could be found on wiki. For more detailed tutorial (my favourite) you can always visit NeHe. Though the sources related to the tutorial originally written in C++ but the Java version is also provided by other users.

Happy coding!

Read More

Windows Vista - Source Code

source: http://privatebrian.wordpress.com/

Read More

Fat and Good

Have you ever tried to create a "stand-alone" JAR file which requires another external JAR libraries? At least I have already encountered this kind of problem twice and I believe other people might have the same problem. Since Java JAR exporter doesn't allow us to do this then we might need external tools.

Some forums in the Internet offered a solution using an ant task. However this solution is not easy enough for someone like me who is a noob at Java and absolutely in a hurry (at that time). Good thing that I found Fat Jar. Fat Jar is an eclipse plugin that allow us to create a "stand-alone" JAR file which include all the external libraries. It is easy to install and to use, to an extent that you don't require any tutorial at all (in my experience). Thus, if you're an eclipse user I highly recommend this plugin. I even think it should be in the default package ;)

You can find Fat Jar here. It's fat and good :)

Read More

A Probability Quiz

Clap clap clap...

And here you are... in the final stage of the most popular quiz in the world: "Where is the key?" (I made up the name in 5 seconds).

Ok, here is the situation. You have beaten all other contenders. Now they put 3 boxes in the front of you. One of them contain a dream vehicle's key that you always wanted. The other two is empty. Here's the deal: If you can guess which box contain the key then the key is yours (I'm not sure about the car but that's not the point). First you choose box number one. The quiz guy smirks. He (with the knowledge of what inside every boxes) removes box number two and he said that there's nothing in it, and yes, he's quite honest guy. Furthermore, out of his generosity, he offers you another chance. Whether it's to choose the box number one or box number three. You, being in the front of ten thousand audience, have to choose. What will you do?

This is a game of probability. Perhaps most of you realized that from the beginning. However, not all of us capable of calculating the correct probability of getting the right box (including me).

1. A spectator in front line doing his mathematic: he said that it doesn't really matter which box you choose. Because box number one and box number three have the same probability, which is a half.
2. A smart looking kid has a different perspective. At first, the three boxes have the same probability: 1/3. It means that you have a third chance of winning and a two third chance of failing. One of the other box, which is said to be empty, is removed. Removing one of the the box doesn't really affect your probability of winning. However, by removing one of the box and giving you another chance then you will have a better probability of winning by changing your choice.

As you probably can guess, a smart looking kid is no ordinary kid. By changing decision you actually have a probability of 2/3 to get the key. You don't believe it? Why don't you try it by yourself?

Read More

PPPoE Problem: unavailable - device missing

Last week I tried to make a new PPPoE connection to my campus. I did it before and everything went fine, but not last week. I couldn't do the dial and when I saw the dial-up icon this not-so-funny-message under the dial-up icon: unavailable - device missing. I went crazy for sometimes before I found this solution:

1. Download devcon.exe from some Microsoft sites

2. Open netrasa.inf in c:\windows\inf (c:\winnt\inf on win2k I guess)

3. Look for the section [Msft.NTx86]

4. In the DeviceID column, you can see the installable devices.

5. Run this command to install the WAN Miniport (PPTP):
devcon.exe install c:\windows\inf\netrasa.inf MS_PptpMiniport

6. Install the other devices similarly. (Probably you will need MS_L2tpMiniport, MS_PtiMiniport, MS_NdisWanIp, MS_PppoeMiniport additionally)

It worked. I didn't even bother to try to understand anything :P

Solution found at http://www.daniweb.com/forums/thread18016.html

Read More

Make Linux More Like Windows (FoxTrot)

Read More